Tuesday, February 18, 2014

The Types of People You Meet at Goodwill

As someone who's shopped at Goodwill since the ripe old age of 3, I think I have a pretty decent low down on the types of people (or characters as I prefer to call them) you are likely to meet at Goodwill. These categories are not meant to offend. I'm just merely unloading some stress from my encounter with the Antique Dealer from my worst nightmares after two glorious months of not having to see her period.
  1.  I'm Just Here for the Books: his person has no interest in the housewares or toys. He or she just wants to find a great deal on books. They are more than happy to avoid the chaos that slowly develops around the rest of the store.
  2.  I'm Just Here for the Clothes: This person has no interest in the housewares or toys. He or she just wants to find a great deal on clothes. They may take forever in the dressing room, but for the most part they are a blessing. 
  3. Teens Looking For Prom/Halloween/Powder Puff/Play Costumes: They come in a pack- a pack of giggles and confusion- that rapidly spreads down the isles of clothes. It's not always a bad thing, but they are known to shout at each other across the store. Be prepared for them take forever in the dressing room.  
  4.  The Teacher Who Wants a Deal: She/He has a few aims for shopping. Find the cheapest books and toys possible. They are often seen inspecting the amount of pieces toys & puzzles have before they purchase. It's a wise decision when you consider how easy it is to lose those little pieces. They often compete against the Flea market & Antique dealers for items. 
  5.  The Collector: The Collector appreciates beautiful things (beauty being in the eye of the beholder). They often get a lot of flack from the staff because they are not as likely to make attempts to cozy up to the workers. The Collector is simply on a mission to find their item of love at a lower price than the antique stores. They learn quickly to adapt to the savagery of the "Nicest" Antique Dealer that You'll Ever Meet and will often play the waiting game for a chance at the new merchandise. They are often the most frustrated shopper in the entire store because they have a huge amount of competition giving them a bad name. Please spare some love for the Collector, they really just want to add to their collection at an affordable price. (Maybe mistaken for Antique Dealers depending on the type of thing they collect.)
  6.  Unattended Children and Deaf Parents: These children run around the store mindlessly. They scream, cry, break glassware, toilet paper the bathrooms, and ride on any toy possible. The parents seem completely unaware that their child (children) is on a mission to destroy any semblance of order in the store. My biggest issue with this scenario is the sheer fact that these children often end up getting hurt or causing someone else to get hurt. 
  7.  The Little Old Ladies: Like the flea market dealers, little old ladies like to go shopping in pairs or individually. They walk through the store talking to everyone they meet about stuff they see or their health. It's also common to hear them compliment each other on how certain colors are very flattering or how fun it is to shop without the men. Most are relatively harmless, but there are certain dynamic duos that should be avoided at all costs. See the Whiner & Diner. 
  8.    The Whiner & Diner: This Little Old Lady (or a man, in rare cases) takes things to the extreme. She attempts to cozy up to staff by feeding them stories and raining down pity parties over health issues. (Yes, we understand that you have bad health issues, but very few people are interested in Colonoscopies while working/shopping.) She will race to carts of new merchandise and send her buddy to block perceived enemies from the racks. If you are faster than she is, it is fairly easy to dodge the attacks or the unwanted trialing. It takes about thirty minutes to an hour for her to check out.  Her arch enemies are the Antique Dealer and the Collector.
  9. Flea market Dealers: They may come by themselves or in pairs, but don't turn your back on them. Flea markets thrive on haggling so the dealer must find lots of cheap merchandise to fill up their booths. They buy a little bit of everything, especially anything that looks old or unique. You have to be quick to spot the bargains before they do. They are also likely try to buddy up to the staff and the "Nicest" Antique Dealer You'll Ever Meet. 
  10.  The Interior Decorator: They only care about the housewares and furniture. They are happy to leave you alone, but will sometimes interact with the Antique and Flea market Dealers.
  11.  Antique Dealers/Ebay Sellers: If you want to know who is responsible for an increase in prices at your local Goodwill store, you might find yourself putting the blame on this person. Antique Dealers want to find bargains so they can tripe or even quadruple the price. You can't blame them for wanting to make a living, but it makes the stores are apt to pick up on their large purchases of vintage items. You can usually figure out who these people are by what's in their cart, but the Collector can also be mistaken for an Antique Dealer. 
  12.     The "Nicest" Antique Dealer You'll Ever Meet: She's always up for a conversation with the workers and anyone else she recognizes. Heaven help you if she spies something in your cart that she wants. You will be followed around the store until you decide to checkout to escape her lingering eyes. She may even try to tell you about all of its flaws or try to trick you into letting her inspect the item in question. DON'T do it. Run for the hills because she will try to make off with it the minute you hand it over. Watch out if cart full of merchandise comes out. She will leap into attack mode and soar over to the cart as fast as her legs can carry her. If you are a collector, this is your arch nemesis and you are liable to duke it out over new stock. You have to be lightning fast and fearless to deal with her as she will likely try to convince the staff that you are the devil incarnate the minute you get something she wants.

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